Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
