at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
