So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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