Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize