nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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