Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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