The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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