Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
