I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just google imaged poop.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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