Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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