Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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