What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
