Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
