So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
try to milk me bitch
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