Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
