Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
