he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
