Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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