Nicole vs. Life
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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