I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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