his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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