I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
