JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
