he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love you. Go after that dick
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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