i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
