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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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