My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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