Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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