i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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