3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
