can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
