Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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