You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
