Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
