I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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