Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
