hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its not stalking. its research.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize