So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
