he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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