My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
