if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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