Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
