At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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