I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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