I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
