Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
