your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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