the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
