it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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