That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
