Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I cut my penus on the lid.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
