so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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