it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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