They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
