..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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