She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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