She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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