Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
