can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
