How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
