That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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