if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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