All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize