Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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