to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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