grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
