why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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