i permit you to call me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
