I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
