i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
