I accidentally had phone sex last night
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
