the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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