She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
