I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
