You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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