Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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